Dollar explains why it’s so high; Dr Firdous explains why it’s so low

Disclaimer: This is a serious work (called satire) on not-so-much serious stuff. If you laugh or chuckle while reading this piece, Surkhiyan will not be responsible.

Dollar has promised to come down when the weather cools down and the government and the public of Pakistan regain senses, which is likely to happen in October. In a costly message to the finance wizards and the talk shows hosts of Pakistan, $$$ dollar said that summer used to be a cool time in Pakistan.

“But not anymore,” thundered $$$ from the peaks not visible to naked eyes. “Statements by government and opposition functionaries are adding heat to the weather, which makes it difficult for me to keep low.

So, sorry. First, you people need to behave and be nice to each other, and then I’ll start coming down.” The million dollar statement said that when the American bill was historically low to Pakistani rupee, the condition of the public did not improve much.

“Tell me when the public was happy and comfortable in those times when I was not so high. So, the exchange rate doesn’t matter much.

Basically, it is your lust and incompetence that is making the people’s lives worst.” Reacting to the announcement, government’s spokesperson Dr Firdous Ashiq Awan laughed and said that now even dollar itself had confirmed that the opposition was corrupt and that the government was on the right track.

Dollar denied Dr Firdous Awan’s statement but Dr Awan snubbed it, saying that it should watch the PTV to see for the facts. The opposition alliance welcomed dollar’s statement and said the US bill had confirmed their concerns that the government was corrupt. Dollar again issued a statement clarifying that it did not mean so.

Opposition parties have announced that they would discuss the dollar statement at an iftar-dinner, where payments would be made in dollars. Dollar queen Ayan Ali was not available for comment.