Disclaimer: This is a serious work (called satire) on not-so-much serious stuff. If you laugh or chuckle while reading this piece, Surkhiyan will not be responsible.
Rejecting the United Nation forum’s decision, Indian spy commander Kalbhushan Jadhav has said that he is not much excited about the ruling that he will have access to the consular. In fact, my core demand is, he told TV channels in a recorded interview, he also be allowed home-made food as the Pakistani government has also allowed such a facility to Nawaz Sharif, who just like me is Modi ka Yaar.
“The cell where I’ve been detained has everything but I want only home-made food. I have heard that Nawaz Sharif has eaten 21 times gosht; I’m a vegetarian but I would love to have seafood, cooked by my own wife. If Nawaz Sharif has been allowed the food he wants to, the government should also allow me the same facility.”
He said that he wanted his government in New Delhi to raise the issue of food.
“The food provided to me has all signs of Naya Pakistan. It is tasteless and calories-less. It is devoid of proteins and vitamins. After every meal, I feel like dancing and shouting: corruption, corruption,” he said.
Reacting to the demand of the detained spy, 101 spokespersons of the government in one chorus:
“If Kalbhushan feels the jail food is tasteless, it is just because of the corruption of Zardari and Nawaz Sharif.”
Meanwhile, Prime Minister Imran Khan said Kalbhushan Jadhav will be released soon but he will not be given an NRO.