The word “selected prime minister” for the selected prime minister was banned in National Assembly yesterday because most jokes state a bitter truth.
Qasim Khan Suri, Deputy Speaker National Assembly (NA) banned other members of the house from calling Imran Khan “selected Prime Minister” in the house. The junior staff of National Assembly revealed that the speaker had to ban this word otherwise; he was threatened to be banned from everything he does (Imagine the pressure).
Explaining a little bit in detail, the secret source hesitantly revealed that Prime Minister Imran Khan was unable to sleep for few days when he was repeatedly called “selected PM” in the house. He was having nightmares where whole of the world gathered at D-Chowk and called him “selected PM” repeatedly. Prescribing a remedy for his illness, Imran Khan’s political psychiatrist recommended the complete ban of the word “selected PM”.
“This is a new way of censorship in Naya Pakistan”, a source from Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf revealed further. The source explained that we are even thinking about banning “shoes” in the future because who knows who might throw a shoe at our ministers or the Prime Ministers in the future.
“We believe in pre-planning just like our government was pre-planned. However, we couldn’t plan anything for this country before because we (the workers of the party) did not anticipate the chance of ruling the country for coming 5 years, we just thought we’ll play in the opposition so staying in opposition and taunting others was way easier than coming in the government and perform”, he added.
It was also reported that the party is planning to ban everything which is against PM or PTI, even valid criticism will also be banned. A minister anonymously revealed that, “We might ban ‘breathing’ as well for everybody who will say anything against our Prime Minister Khan! At last, we have to protect ourselves from such vicious campaigns in every way possible.
“We came in the government through the same vicious campaigns against Pakistan Muslim League Nawaz”, he whispered. “The PTI government is all about pleasing Imran Khan and we cannot invite his disapproval in any way, Hail Imran”, he added.
Later, it was observed that PTI also directed its social media team on Twitter to trend #PMisElected.
On the other hand, Pakistan People’s Party challenged the legality of banning the use of word ‘selected’ for Prime Minister Imran Khan. Clearing their stance in front of the media, a PPP spokesperson asked, “Why cannot we call Imran Khan “selected prime minister” when others had been calling Asif Ali Zardari ‘Mr. Ten percent’, ‘robber’, ‘fraud’ and what not?”
“We will not let Imran Khan escape this never-ending curse of words because whoever became the Prime Minister or President of this country, he had to bear such words”, he added.
Pakistan Muslim League Nawaz, on the other hand decided to stay silent on the matter, as they had been on hibernation mode since a long time now. Some secret sources revealed that they are so confused these days that they often forget who their true leader is, and what exactly is their party’s manifesto.
Amid all this political fiasco, it was reported that public is currently ignoring all these dogfights, as they are busy in calculating additional taxes and prices they will have to pay after the most economical budget of the century was presented by the most fairly elected government in Pakistan’s history.
Disclaimer: This is a serious work (called satire) on not-so-much serious stuff. If you laugh or chuckle while reading this piece, Surkhiyan will not be responsible.