Given the pattern of fate of Imran Khan’s statements, the Pakistan Tehreek-i-Insaf has advised the party chairman to give statements against his own party policies so that the party manifesto could be achieved.
“We said we will not give NRO to anyone, and you can see even those not seeking any concessions have won NRO without much efforts,” said a party leader, who joined the PTI three hours ago, at a high-level meeting in Gani Bala on Monday.
Much to the shock of the new entrant, the party agreed to his suggestion.
“I’ve also been thinking along these lines, and wanted to say something like this but at the eleventh hour, I would take a U-turn,” said a one-year-old PTI central leader.
After much brooding and 101 U-turns, and W-turns, the party announced a party policy:
1: NRO will be given to Asif Zardari and Hamza Shahbaz too.
2: One crore jobs will be curtailed and five million houses demolished.
3: PTI will not win the next elections.
4: Sheikh Rasheed will not be hired as peon.
5: The PTI manifesto will NOT be followed.
6: 5,000 people will NOT be executed.
7: Price hike will see new heights.
8: TikTok girls will be allowed everywhere.
9: Tax net will NOT be widened.
10: U-turns will be taken more frequently.
Shockingly, the PPP and PMLN have protested the NRO offer, while Sheikh Rasheed also looked resigned to fate.
The new policy triggered jubilation in party circles.
Disclaimer: This is a serious work (called satire) on not-so-much serious stuff. If you laugh or chuckle while reading this piece, Surkhiyan will not be responsible.