Satire: Dollar, stock markets begin to crash after Asad Umar resignation; Fawad insists Asad is still finance minister   

Disclaimer: This is a serious work (called satire) on not-so-much serious stuff. If you laugh or chuckle while reading this piece, Surkhiyan will not be responsible.

As soon as Asad Umar tweeted about his plan not to accept the energy ministry, and to step down from the finance ministry on Thursday, stock markets across the world, encomiasts and businesses reacted sharply over the departure of one of the finest finance ministers. Dollar crashed in local currency exchange to as low as Rs70 as it was being bought at Rs71.13 and sold at Rs72.

Mr Umar told a press conference that it was time to make some “difficult decisions for me” as the public had enough seen difficult times. He said his act to leave the ministry would also stabilise the economy and that he hoped his successor would follow his wonderful policies.

“Who says inflation went by 8 per cent?” he retorted when a reporter asked him about the inflation rate.

“You people were eating one egg and two slices in breakfast when the inflation rate was 5.8 per cent; you eat one egg and two slices now when inflation is 10.9l; so where is the difference on your life?”

He said regardless of the petrol prices, one motorcyclist would get Rs100 petrol every time they visit petrol pumps.

“Whatever the price of petrol, a commoner is least affected by it,” he argued.

Fawad Chaudhry, however, tweeted that the people should not take Asad Umar seriously, as he was still a finance minister.

“Who takes Asad Umar’s tweet seriously?” Fawad said in a tweet to rubbish the report of Asad Umar’s resignation.

“You know Asad Umar has been our choice for the finance minister for the last eight years. He will continue as finance minister as long as there is finance in the country. He’ll cease the office with the depletion of finances.”

Asad Umar ended his tweet by saying: “I strongly believe @ImranKhanPTI is the best hope for Pakistan and inshAllah will make a naya Pakistan.”

Fawad Chaudhry, however, insisted that the tweet not be taken seriously.

“Yes, not even his last lines of the tweet,” Fawad Chaudhry told a TV channel.

Asad Umar also told a press conference that Fawad Chaudhry’s portfolio was being changed. Reacting to this, Fawad Chaudhry tweeted, “Did anyone ever see Asad Umar coming up with accurate information?”