Satire: Former CJ summons Qudrat Ullah Shahab, asks to furnish record of Ayub Khan’s wheeling and dealing

Disclaimer: This is a serious work (called satire) on not-so-much serious stuff. If you laugh or chuckle while reading this piece, Surkhiyan will not be responsible.

Despite knowing for a fact that former ace bureaucrat and Field Marshal Ayub Khan’s blue-eyed Qudrat Ullah Shahab is long dead, former Chief Justice of Pakistan Mian Saqib Nisar has summoned him from the dead to account for wheeling and dealing made during Ayub Khan’s tenure.

In what many believe as an unprecedented move, the former top judge during a suo motu hearing, from a foreign land, on adverse effects of ajinomoto salt on people in their 90’s, Justice Nisar in his signature style connected the invisible dots and thundered that Mr. Shahab, now also known as Ayub Khan’s Ahad Cheema, be produced in the Court within a fortnight. ‘We know that he is dead. But the question is, is he really dead to the point that he can’t say labaik on the summons of apex court. ‘Yunh nahin chalay gaa. Murda yah zinda, Shahab sahab koo aana paray gaa’, he remarked. 

Of late, top judge of Pakistan had been on a crusade to rid the country of every ill, every blemish, every wrongdoing, every corrupt practice, every illegality, and everything that has anything to do with the executive.

The recent interest of public at large in Chief Justice Saqib Nisar has reached feverish heights. With hundreds of people falling prey to the mania where they believe that CJ of Pakistan will pay their utility bills, get their children admitted in top private schools for free, send them monthly stipend of one lakh with no strings attached, and arrange for their children’s marriage and jobs.

‘He is no Iftikhar Chaudhry. He is CJ Nisar. And ohh boy, is he good? He is really really good. He will straighten all them crooked politicians, bureaucrats, ministers, not-ministers, doctors, thullay, engineers, plumbers, mechanics, maids, drivers, meat sellers, bankers, businessmen, tea sellers, qahwa sellers and more such people,’ said an elated Advocate Sardar Sameer K. Randhawa. ‘And when he is done with these people, he’ll put his own house in order, IA,’ he concluded adding that his retirement barely matters at all.