Disclaimer: This is a serious work (called satire) on not-so-much serious stuff. If you laugh or chuckle while reading this piece, Surkhiyan will not be responsible.
The Pakistan People’s Party (PPP) Central Executive Committee (CEC) will recommend party chairperson Bilawal Bhutto-Zardari to change the treadmill he has been using for a long time. At an important meeting of the PPP CEC somewhere in Pakistan, the party stalwarts asked their leader to brief the nation about his workout regime. When learned that Bilawal Bhutto-Zardari has regularly been on the treadmill for two hours a day for the last three years, the CEC members urged their leader to change the treadmill. To which, Bilawal Bhutto-Zardari smiled and said, “When I change the treadmill, I will also change party office-bearers.” After his remarks, the CEC did not talk of the workout.
Nawaz Sharif is not afraid of cases
Pakistan’s most popular leader (in the Sharif family) Nawaz Sharif is not afraid of cases, but court verdicts which often entail rigorous jail terms. This was whispered by PML-N central information secretary Mariam Aurangzeb in a statement issued to the Jati Umra to her boss Maryam Safdar. She said in the statement the day is not far when our leader would be among us (after completing his sentence in 2025). She said the whole world was aware of the services of our leader Nawaz Sharif.
Curfew on June 3 on account of sale day at Sapphire
Learning lessons from the previous years’ riots stemming from Sapphires’ sale, the law-enforcers have announced imposing a curfew on those cities where the outlets of the famous brands are located to pre-empt rioting. On the sale day, only those having special passes would be allowed to step out of houses. It is worthwhile to mention that the place where passes were being issued, several women were injured because of the huge rush and ensuing riots. The authorities had to call in law-enforcement reinforcements to control the situation. Facebook launched ‘I am safe’ status for the people in those cities. One woman who was badly wounded while trying to get a curfew pass also marked herself safe. “I suffered a bone fracture, but I managed to get a pass. So, I’m not only safe but also the most successful,” she cried.