Satire: Malik Riaz announces establishing Bahria Town in Black Hole 

Disclaimer: This is a serious work (called satire) on not-so-much serious stuff. If you laugh or chuckle while reading this piece, Surkhiyan will not be responsible.

Taking Bahria Town to new heights, Malik Riaz Hussain has announced launching its Baharia Town’s new luxury scheme – Black Hole Bahria Town Complex – in Black Hole, whose image was recently unveiled by NASA.

“Placed in the heart of the Black Hole, our new project is with its own captivating history and cultural heritage. It will be the site for one of the world’s earliest human settlements,” said a press release issued by the real estate tycoon’s office late on Tuesday.

The project promises pure air, pure water, pure earth, pure sunshine and pure people. This is 55 million light years away from the Earth but that is not a big deal for the iconic developer, whose most of the projects are still 55 million light years away from being realised. Not only him, have other estate developers’ projects also turned out to be millions of light years away.

Telescopes from eight centres across the world worked as one unit to piece together this image. The stunning image looked like an uneven gold ring, heavier at the lower end than the upper.

Of course, the black hole itself cannot be seen, because light cannot escape its intense gravitational attraction. The so-called event horizon that envelops the black hole is the point of no return and any object transgressing this boundary is lost.

Even though no one has reached the black hole, the developer’s office said: “Pure is the nature of the Black Hole project. The landscape of the Black Hole ranges from lofty mountains in the north, through dissected plateaus to the rich alluvial plains of the hole. Then follow desolate barrenness of the place and the hot dry deserts blending into miles and miles of black-gold beaches of the coast.

The billionaire developer recently struck a deal with the Supreme Court legitimizing its ill-gotten land in Malir district.

It is being speculated that the project is being developed on the Black Hole to avoid jurisdiction of the court. A lawyer, however, said NAB could still prosecute him for one reason or another.

Real estate dealers have expressed pleasure over the announcement of the project. They said the project would be a big success because of its no-noise environment, no-loadshedding regime and no-noisy neighbors.