SATIRE: NAB starts investigation into Shehbaz’s marriages

Disclaimer: This is a serious work (called satire) on not-so-much serious stuff. If you laugh or chuckle while reading this piece, Surkhiyan will not be responsible.

Finding a few typos in summons draft, National Accountability Bureau (NAB) Chairman Javed Iqbal on Monday ordered the cancellation of summons issued by his department to the wife and daughters of PML-N president Shehbaz Sharif on Saturday in an investigation regarding money laundering and accumulation of assets beyond known sources of income.

“You know Shehbaz Sharif is a person of many marriages, and I think before slapping summons on him and his wife, NAB will need to investigate that to which wife, these summonses be served,” a source without seeking anonymity, quoted the NAB chairman as having said.

The NAB chairman issued directives in a visit to the NAB Lahore office, says a press release.

It said the NAB chairman was briefed on “marriages – both brief, and long lasting – of Shehbaz Sharif, and of course, corruption cases” and cases concerning the Sharif family by the director general of NAB.

The NAB chairman was very serious to investigate Shehbaz Sharif’s marriages. He was, however, told that it was a long story, which NAB may not fully unearth.

Earlier, he ordered the kiki dance video footage and issued summons to the model seen in the footage. The PIA summons was later withdrawn.

“The chairman NAB has decided that he himself will directly supervise the cases regarding the Sharif family,” the statement said.

According to the press release, NAB chairman Iqbal ordered the cancellation of the summons notices to the family of Shahbaz Sharif.

Before Shehbaz Sharif, the occupant of the chief minister, Malik Ghulam Mustafa Khar, is also alleged to have married multiple times.

How many times?

“No one exactly knows the number of Khar’s marriages, and likewise Sharif’s marriages,” said NAB sources.

“I bet even Khar and Sharif themselves will not remember the number of their honeymoons,” said the source, who works in NAB’s monetary crime wing.

The NAB move to issue the summons had drawn a strong reaction not only from the PML-N but also from the PPP as both parties saw a political motive behind it.