Scientists and PML-N find Qatari grapes sweet and curative

Announcing the landmark discovery of medicine to fight life-threatening diseases, world’s leading scientists have declared, and all in one voice, that Qatari grapes can cure all sort of diseases within minutes, and without leaving any sour or tangy taste in mouth.

“The amazing dose of a few Qatari grapes not only improves platelets, it can make a chronic patient healthy and hearty within minutes,” said the Qatar Airways crew, which experimented the grapes on Mian Nawaz Sharif, the former prime minister, and in the news for his Panama companies, and chronic illness for quite sometimes, during a flight from Doha to London on Tuesday.

“We can confirm that just seeing the grapes, Mian Sahib recovered very fast, and after eating them, he also ate his favorite Buryani, Alo Gosht, Paratha, Sir Paye, and Lahori Channay,” said the crew in a statement.

An insider of the PML-N, however, claimed that Mian Sahib recovered too fast because he made no deal with the PTI regime.

“If anything can be credited with the recovery of Mian Sahib, it is the Pakistan’s justice system, which made him a free man, a happy man and a healthy man,” said the leader on the condition of not disclosing their name, gender, locality and party office.

When asked for the reason for such a strong anonymity terms, the leader-cum-worker-cum-self-made-party representative said that no one knew if Mian Sahib had gone after striking a deal.

“In case, he doesn’t return, I need to make my future safe by looking for an opportunity in some other parties,” said the leader with serious looks.

Disclaimer: This is a serious work (called satire) on not-so-much serious stuff. If you laugh or chuckle while reading this piece, Surkhiyan will not be responsible.