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Home Satire

Shaukat Yousufzai sees defeat against Australia in fact a grand victory of Pakistan cricket

Congratulating the children of the chief of army staff (nation) on the humiliating defeat of the Pakistani cricket team in Australia, Every-Cloud-Has-a-Silver-Lining Minister Shaukat Yousufzai has said that the Australian team will have to repent and face consequences for winning Test matches against Pakistan, while the Pakistani team would emerge the real victor in the chapters of history (of Punjab Textbook Board)

Ahsan Raza by Ahsan Raza
December 2, 2019
in Satire
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Shaukat Yousufzai sees defeat against Australia in fact a grand victory of Pakistan cricket

Shaukat Yousufzai sees defeat against Australia in fact a grand victory of Pakistan cricket

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Congratulating the children of the chief of army staff (nation) on the humiliating defeat of the Pakistani cricket team in Australia, Every-Cloud-Has-a-Silver-Lining Minister Shaukat Yousufzai has said that the Australian team will have to repent and face consequences for winning Test matches against Pakistan, while the Pakistani team would emerge the real victor in the chapters of history (of Punjab Textbook Board).

“Who says our team was defeated?” mocked the minister while talking to himself. “Our Shaheen bowlers bowled simply bad balls only to destroy the form of Kangaroos; now, whenever they face tough balls, Australian batsmen will miss Pakistani bowlers and then in ko phir lag pata jaye ga’. 

He said the Pakistani team’s strategy was to create discord among Australian players.

“When the Australian captain enforced ‘declare’ at 537-3, the remaining seven batsmen in the bank beat up the skipper for evading their batting ki bari. And you know how bad you feel when your batting turn doesn’t come up,” smiled the minister.  

Pakistan Chief Selector Misbahul Haq, however, rejected Shaukat Yousufzai’s statement on team’s strategy, saying that the team had no strategy.

“We’re experimenting to play without a strategy; that’s necessary to try because we have lost so many matches despite having a number of strategies. This time, our strategy is to have no strategy, and I think we are successful in the experiment,” he said.

When contacted for version, Shaukat Yousufzai said he was not available for comment.

Disclaimer: This is a serious work (called satire) on not-so-much serious stuff. If you laugh or chuckle while reading this piece, Surkhiyan will not be responsible. 


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Tags: Father of the nationGeneral BajwaPakistan VS AustraliaSatireShaukat YousafzaiSurkhiyan Exclusive
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